Evolution of the tan!

With exam period ending (hoorah) and summer/partying season looming... it's that time of year again... the legs are coming out! As much as I am not against paleness with my thunder thighs pastiness is not an option! (They need every bit of camouflage they can get.)
The easiest and quickest way to get a tan is sun-bedding. However, as an ex tanorexic I have had to give up sun-bedding (the risk of skin cancer, premature wrinkles have put me off- sob sob) and turn to fake tan. Now I love a bit of fake tan- but as we all know it can go extremely wrong! 'Attcked by a dorito' is the phrase often used!
So as I love a tan I thought I'd share my tanning tips of how to look tanned... without the orange residue. But I'd rather see a shade of dorito than skin cancer on a girl any day!

Here's a few pics of my own tanning evolution... so you can vouch that I am an expert in all things tan-related and you are in safe hands.

Au Nauturelle ;) ... my skin as nature intended (pastey and gross)

 After a SERIOUS sunbed addiction! (Disclaimer: I am not recommending sun-beds)








And finally... the natural tan from the sun... (yes this is not fake tan but is in fact tan induced from sun bathing. Hello vitamin D.)







... OR not finally as unfortunately winter has been and gone.. the tan has faded and peeled and I am now left with the inevitable pastey look. And I am no Kirsten Stewart- I cannot rock this look.

So here are my top tips for tanning fakely but safely :)

1. Exfoliate- Yes we all know this one- the mags tell us it repeatedly. But it is imperative if you want to avoid that streaky tan look! How will you tan look even if it's not on a clear surface!

2. Moisturise- Now I've heard rumours (terrible terrible lies) that putting moisturiser on before fake tanning actually makes your tan not stick. This is not true! Your fake tan is less likely to fade by applying moisturiser, as like with exfoliating, you need a soft surface to start on to avoid the streaky look!
If you find elbows, knees problematic areas put extra moisturiser on!!

I (who love all things orange) like to use moisturisers with gradual tanner in... two of my favourite products are Garnier's gradual tanner and Palmer cocoa butter's gradual tanner. I'd recommend Palmer's for the winter as it is very thick- but that's perfect for dry winter skin. And it smells like chocolate... really how much more in heaven can you get? It does have quite an orange tinge after a few applications- but don't worry it's not dorito rapped!!

For the summer I'd recommend Garnier's gradual tanner, as it's much lighter than Palmer's.


It works quickly and comes in three different shades from light-dark. It quickly builds a noticeable light, natural looking tan if applied every- every other day. The only problem I find with it is your hands! As you have to wash them after every application so you're left with paler hands! (I've tried applying directly to my hands but with washing up and washing your hands 24 7 it's impossible to keep!) Anyone knows a solution to this comment below!


Now you're all prepped... here comes the easy part... the tanning!

3. Wear a tanning mit- You can pick one of these up for a pittance in Primark so no excuses! No one likes orange hands! Trust me I've had them people laugh and point! And you end up rubbing fake tan on everything you touch! They also allow your tan to go on smoothly... so no streaks (very important).

4. The product- This is the cheapest but best value fake tan! St Moriz... you can pick it up from 3-4 pound online (amazon, eBay where ever) and I actually think it works just as well as St Tropez, which would set you back about 20 squids.

It comes in three different shades, I'd recommend medium for the majority of skin tones. It comes out in a foam texture so is very easy to apply compared to gel, sprays or cream based fake tans. If your new to tanning this is a good fake tan to start with as you can create light, medium or heavy coverage by layering the amount you put on. The bottle recommends putting the tan on before showering- but I say screw that and stick it on after the shower. I'm guessing you want your tan to be noticeable!

 

 

And finally... 5. Don't forget your face! There's no bigger tell tell sign of fake tan than an orange/tanned bod and white face! So either get a face tanner or match your make up to your fake tan. I'm not a big fan of fake tan on the face as I have sensitive skin, but if you're gunna give it a go make sure you moisturise first paying extra attention to,your jawline, neck and hairline. (Those are the elbow and knees of your mug.) For me I just chuck on the bronzer, the more bronzer the better!

I'd recommend Bourjois Delice de Poudre Bronzer (it smells like chocolate- score). It's perfect for adding colour and matching pasty faces to fake tan without clogging up your pours.

 

If you've made it to the end of this post you really care about your tan and deserve to glow! ;)

 

 Follow these tips you could look like this ...

(Disclaimer: fake tan will not turn you into Jessica Alba...)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

The Great Gatsby- Baz Luhrmann film review

 Now this is a blog close to my heart... The Great Gatsby... my favourite book, Fitzgerald... the author I wrote my dissertation on (eek) and a film adaptation by Baz Luhrmann.. my favourite director. The pressure is oonnn.

For you crazy kids who haven't read the book (why?) I won't give away any plot spoilers! However I would recommend reading the book before watching the film anyway! Even though the film does follow the plot closely I always think you understand a book better by reading it first because you make your own interpretation of the characters rather than regurgitating someone else's vision. Like Harry Potter... you simply don't get HP if you watched the film first!

In terms of reviewing I don't like to be overly negative ... strike that I try not too be too critical... so I'll start with the bad not so good then get to the good stuff. End on a high ;)

Mistake number one: Music!
This is the fatal flaw of the film I'm afraid. The book embodies The Jazz Age- what does that entail- you guessed it Jazz music! What does the film use? Contemporary rap music. Really?
For a film that tries to show context in the setting and costume and supplies extra historical information for the reader, why oh why didn't it use Jazz music! I may sound as if I'm clutching at straws here, but music is surprisingly imperative to a films success, just think about Jaws for a minute here. Change da dum da dum to dum dum de dum. You get the picture.
The whole atmosphere of the film would have been altered by the change in music.

Mistake number two: Symbolism.
Now Fitzgerald is all about the symbols, he loves a good symbol as much we love a nandoes. Buuuuttt Bazzy old boy a symbol is suggestive not literal. Fitzgerald may have written about 'the green light' but in a film (which is visual) you do not need to state 'the green light' because we can see it! I'll admit there's a lot of white billowy imagery in the book, but the amount in the film is laughable! The symbols in the novel build tension, imply plot twists and work as a back drop to the plot. A symbol does not need a big red sign above it saying 'look at me I am important', it's a matter of interpretation.

I'm also worried that viewers that haven't read the book won't enjoy the film... I'm not sure why and would be very interested to know what non Gatsby readers thought of the film! So please tell me. Despite Fitzgerald's emergence and fascination in Hollywood I don't think the novel lends itself to the cinema. The plot is fairly simple and for me it is the writing that really makes the novel stand out.

Right now to the positives! :)

• I loved the visual elements to this film! (minus the symbols ;) ) The settings were breath taking, much like Baz's Australia. The film really brought the roaring 20s to life. Quote my boyfriend: 'I wish I was a rich man in the 20s'- with houses like that wouldn't we all!
• The film also highlighted the less glamorous aspects of the 20s, the Valley of Ashes, (any Wasteland studiers will get that) the racist undertones of the period and the lower classes 'survival'. Love a bit of historical context me. Cough*nerd*cough.
• It highlights the corrupt and materialistic world and most importantly- caught the atmosphere of the 20s parties!
• The best part of the film must be the costumes though! They are absolutely stunning! And Gatsby's pink suit is particularly enjoyable! I believe that there is a showing of the costumes in London- but you'll have to do the research for that if you're interested. Cosmo's done alot of online articles regarding the cosutumes too. :)
• Ohhhh and it quoted dirctly from the text. Love a good quote me.

Best Actor award goes to... Carey Mulligan. I'll admit she is my current girl crush. But she really held up Daisy's complex role. And she looked amaaazzingg.

I would definitely recommend this film to all you old sports and I really enjoyed it. (Despite the teen couple sitting next to me and flashing their phones every 5 minutes. Cinema decorum anyone?) If this film does one thing I hope it is to encourage people to read the book. It's an American masterpiece for a reason you know! So please go read then watch.

'They're a rotten bunch. You're worth the whole damn lot.'

How to fake flawless skin ... foundation reviews

Right I know it's exam period and we all look haggard/drained/zombie-fied (well I do), but with the invention of foundation this is no excuse! We're not all part of a Cullen clan that can pull of the half dead/ blood drained look.
So I've done the leg work and reviewed some of the big brand versions of the push up bra! From cheap to no so cheap *cough* the reviews are here...(No excuses ladies) ;)

Star Product! 1st place goes to ;)
 Mac Studio Fix fluid
Price: £20.50

Now I am sorry to say that in this case splurging those extra few pounds pays! I have wanted to try Mac make up for years but have been put off by the price tag. So luckily I got Mac credit for my birthday (thanks boyf) ..hoorah!
This foundation is by faaar the best I have used, it covers up dark circles, spots, freckles and general uneven skin. It lasts all day unlike pretty much every other foundation I've used in which I come home looking a hell of a lot worse than I left the house!
However due to the full coverage you might assume you look 'overdone', but because the make up is so good you only need to use the smallest amount. So if you put it on properly you wont look as if you dunked your face in a pot of make up!
The only downside is it does smell pretty industrial! Kind of like paint! At the moment I only wear it very sparingly because of the cost and I don't think I could recommend for daily use as I think it would dry your skin out and cause more blemishes. And then you'd be hooked!
But I have to admit it is the best foundation I have used by a mile!
Oh also they don't sell the pump with the foundation so you have to add an extra £3.50 for the pump... bit of a con! But once you buy it once that's it if you stick with this foundation.

2nd place...
Maybelline Fit Me foundation
Price: £7.99

Now I've always been a Maybelline fan when it comes to foundations, I was once a die-hard matte mouse fan until I decided liquid foundations gave better coverage! (But if you're looking for very very natural foundations and don't plan to use much powder or blusher I would recommend matte mouse!) And this foundation did not disappoint! Firstly it feels really soft on your skin, not heavy or greasy! As long as you get your shade right (a faux pas I'm sure we've aaallll been guilty with) it blends evenly to your skin and gives great coverage. However, this foundation isn't great for long wear! It comes off as the day goes on... which isn't great if you're on the go! However, for value for money it is a great product and my day wear foundation at the mo!

 

 



3rd place...
No 7 Stay Perfect Foundation
Price: £14.00

Now I tried this product because of the cool machine thing they use to match your skin tone! After going on several holidays during the summer I had a mix-match of different foundation shades that were all either too sun kissed or winter bare for my fading tanned (wah) skin. And this foundation does match your skin perfectly! It's so weird how they make it match perfectly.. your skin really does look like your not wearing foundation (except much better than barefaced skin!) So it gives a really nice natural finish. However, I have horrible dark circles (alas) and this foundation didn't cover it as much as I wanted! And although it didn't look 'shiny' exactly... as the day went on it did come off quite easily! Which for £14 (big bucks for me) I'd expect better! However, in saying that if you want a foundation that actually matches your skin and isn't too heavy this is your go to bottle!

And finally 4th place...
(By putting this 4th does NOT mean it is bad or the worst foundation here, as I am only reviewing my favs on here... collection foundation you know why you're not on here!)
Benefit Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow
Price: £25.50

This is another product I got courtesy of a present (thanks Nan!) and I re bought this one so it must have been pretty good! It has no oil in it and has factor 25 in it, so it's a great summer make up and unlike the Mac foundation I don't think it will cause any unwanted blemishes! It has a very light coverage, but you can put extra on to give a more 'night out' look. I loved this product in the summer because it was so light and I didn't need to wear suncream! However, it is pretty shiny so for day time every day wear you need a good powder. Also because it's so fine you need to use loads and as usual Benefit never give you enough in the bottle! I think it's a good holiday foundation or good for people that like light coverage, but other wise it's not worth the extra cash!

Two other products that are not foundations but are definitely worth mentioning for anyone who has blemishes/ tried/dull skin but doesn't want to wear a foundation...

1. Benefit Boi-ing Concealer
Price: £17.50

DO NOT LET THE PRICE PUT YOU OFF THIS PRODUCT.. IT 100% WORKS! This is my go-to survivor product which I literally cannot live without! If you have relatively clear skin like me and your main problem is dark circles... this is the product for you! Anyone with dark circles nos the pain of trying to find a concealer that A) Actually covers them up! and B) Does not make you look like a pre-maturely wrinkled freak! This product works like a dream and completely covers up my dark circles. I often just use this product during the day and mascara... ideal and low maintenance! Especially if you've got a post summer hol tan and don't wanna cover it up! 5 *s! My only disclaimer is that it is industrial strength! So if you don't suffer from dark circles don't waste your money because of my persuasive review ;) I've heard good things about Garnier's concealer!





2. Mac Strobe Liquid Lotion

Price: £22.50

 

Another pricey product! It's not an essential but if your not a fan of foundation this is a good investment as it will last foreveeerrrr ... you only need to use the tiniest amount. It's not a BB CC or any other double lettered type of cream! But it does help revive the appearance of dull, stressed out skin... and again another perfect product for a tan! Especially on holiday when you don't really want to wear foundation. It can also be used on top of foundation for a highlighter/bronzer effect. (Well I don't know if it's recommended but I use it like that!) Definate 4* if you have the money! If not a good tinted moisturiser should be fine!



I hope this is helpful and I now expect all students to stop moaning about their examination skin (me included) and start rocking flawless skin ;)



Will you be blown away by Tom Cruise's Oblivion?

 

Forewarning: Worry not, I will not give any of the plot away that would not be shown in an advert.

 

Frankly the answer is no. You may be confused, disjointed and somewhat on the edge (not quite off your seat ), but not 'blown away'.

However, if you're still deciding on what orange Wednesday film to see do not rule this one out.

In terms of  'America saves the world again- guns, prostitutes and more guns' action films which are so popular (why) this film has far more creative flare. It does not revolve around Tom Cruise shooting everything in sight despite the above picture. However, the creativity in this film is limited, the 'shocks and twists' are not quite  at Sixth Sense level. Although I did not expect the plot twists to occur once they did happen I had that faint feeling of de ja vu ... like I'd seen it all before- with that other actor guy, like Tom Cruise, maybe even him. You get the drift, not quite Vanilla Skies.

My favourite part of the film was Tom zooming around his ship Top Gun style. The fact I keep referring to Tom as Tom rather than his character's name, is simply because I cannot remember the name! Jack maybe? This shows the level of connection I felt to the characters!

The characters themselves did not seem to have any real chemistry. Tom and his love interest (remains nameless in my mind) seemed to show nothing for each other apart from coldness! Apart from the ginger bird who clearly fancied the pants of Tom, on screen chemistry was low which for me always weakens a film as it removes it's believability.

 

However, despite this I was left thinking about the film after I left the cinema ( a late night showing which must have made approximately 24 quid by the empty cinema seats!) For me this is the sign of a good film, a film that leaves you wondering after the credits. Oblivion does touch on some real human feelings and the nature of humanity that big corporal American action films can't quite catch these days. And if you're not a film nerd like me, the twists and turns will be genuinely shocking and exciting!

 

 

'There is nothing in life that signifies failure better than fat'. My response to Samantha Brick's claim

Disclaimer: This blog will contain feminist ranting. It may be written for your entertainment, but Brick's claims are all real and NOT ironic... much to my dismay!

Dear Samantha Brick,

Firstly, you're dietary habits are not healthy! The fact that you lived on two packs of polos, and a slice of marmite on toast for years is diabolical and incredibly unhealthy, as unhealthy in fact, as being overweight. Your breathe and teeth must be revolting.

Secondly, your whole article is a cry for help. Clearly the issues you have from being apparently overweight as a teenager have dominated your outlook on your life and therefore disrupted your perception of a normal healthy weight and life style. It's not all work, starvation and no play you know... if your friend gives you a box of posh chocs eat one!! Also the fact you throw coffee granules all over food in your bin suggests that you would be tempted to search through your bin for chocolate... this sounds very normal and healthy.

My main reason for my dislike towards your article however is not to warn you about your unhealthy life style, but to inform you that your article is insulting to other women! You clearly suffer with your weight and feel judged based on what size you are... so why are you actively judging women and trying to make women feel inferior because of their weight?
Newsflash: fat does not connote failure.. failure is summed up by your article... a tapestry of insecurities hiding themselves by trying making other people feel bad about themselves. In other words a school yard bully. Your weight does not determine your success, your actions and state of mind do. What do yours say Samantha?

Finally, on the note of your boyfriend and husband being your 'weight coaches'... this is not the sign of a normal, happy relationship, if you want a 'weight coach' get a personal trainer. If your husband truly loved you he would love you no matter what, and definitely not threaten to divorce you if you gain a pound or two!

The fact that the daily mail published this sham of an article merely highlights the extreme levels the media will go to to create controversy and get extra rantings. No intelligent person in their right mind would deem your article as sound advice.

Respectfully yours,
Every sane woman.


p.s I'm eating chocolate as we speak and it is glorious :)